That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
