i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Randomize
