Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
