I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
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