My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize