dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize
