she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Sober January is a disaster.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
