If that was your dad, he is hot
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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