when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
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