I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
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