i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
There's always time for handjobs
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
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