Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
