Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
Randomize
