WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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