I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Randomize