oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
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