All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
