new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
