have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
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