I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
I have post one night stand depression
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
