Where is the hickey?
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
