Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Randomize
