This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
