Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Randomize
