i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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