why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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