i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
