There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Randomize
