I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize