just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
Randomize
