Just mADE A PArabola og urine
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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