don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
