As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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