Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
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