If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Randomize
