i barfeds in our rink
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
he just fucked me for my cheese.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
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