Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
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