Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
