If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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