READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
