I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Randomize
