I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
