even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
