Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
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