I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
