Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
