you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize
