I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
