I wish I could teleport
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
