I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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