Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
