Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
3pm strippers are depressing
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
