ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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