If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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