and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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