So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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