Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Randomize
