My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Is it because I queefed?
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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