im holly from the hills drunk
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
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