Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
We don't watch enough power rangers
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Randomize
