How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
