Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
