so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Randomize