Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Randomize
