Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
