brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
i black out too much to be "responsible"
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Randomize
