Cold hands, warm shart.
Christians are straight up FREAKS
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
The feeling are messing with the penis
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Randomize
