There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Randomize
